Don’t F*#k with Chuck!

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I haven’t laughed this hard in a while.  Somboday has compiled a list of “facts” around Chuck Norris.  Read ‘em and weep.  Site found via the evil NinjaMonkies!

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/



  1. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
  2. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
  3. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
  4. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
  5. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
  6. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72… and they’re all poisonous.
  7. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ‘til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ‘til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  8. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
  9. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
  10. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

Posted by Jake Covert on 10/26/2006, terribly early in the morning
HumorScience • (8) CommentsPermalink

Dark matter explained

Based on a paper from the University of Victoria

http://xxx.lanl.gov/abs/astro-ph/0507619

It appears that the phenomenon known as dark matter can be explained by general relativity.

Slashdot article here.

Posted by Jake Covert on 10/11/2005, terribly early in the morning
Science • No Comments yet • Permalink

Evangelical Scientists refute gravity with new ‘Intelligent Falling” theory

KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held “theory of gravity” is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

Burdett added: “Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, ‘I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.’ Of course, he is alluding to a higher power.”

Posted by Jake Covert on 8/18/2005, terribly early in the morning
Science • No Comments yet • Permalink

New York Public Library Digital Gallery

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The New York Public Library has a really nice collection of high-quality digital images from Art, History, Culture, etc.

Very easy to browse and select your favorites.  Good stuff.

http://digitalgallery.nypl.org/

Posted by Jake Covert on 6/22/2005, the wee hours
BooksMiscScience • (1) CommentsPermalink

The Pseudoscience of Intelligent Design

This is an article about the non-science of intelligent design.  The original article and lots of discussion is available here:

http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2005/4/27/03541/2520

reposted w/out permission.

By benna
Wed Apr 27th, 2005 at 12:18:45 PM EST

The Dover, Pennsylvania school board recently adopted a policy requiring that high school science teachers teaching evolution tell their students that evolutionary theory, a theory that has been shown to explain the origins of life time and time again, is flawed, and that intelligent design is a valid alternative. The ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union), along with the AUSCS (Americans United for the Separation of Church and State), and 11 parents, are suing the school board, accusing the board of violating the separation of church and state (Banerjee A16). They are quite right. The sole purpose of “Intelligent Design” is to make creationism look like a scientifically credible theory, so that it can be perpetuated in public schools, among other places. Intelligent Design, however, is not supported by scientific evidence, and is invalid as a scientific theory.

To understand the problems with Intelligent Design, first it is important to understand the theory it is attempting to oppose, evolution by natural selection. The theory is this: If organisms reproduce, offspring inherit traits from their progenitor(s), a variability of traits exists, and the environment cannot sustain all the members of an increasingly large population, then those members of the population that have poorly-adapted traits (to their environment) will die out, and those with well-adapted traits (to their environment) will prosper (Darwin 459). Over a long period of time, this process leads to extreme complexity, and adaptedness.

Posted by Jake Covert on 5/2/2005, terribly early in the morning
Public PolicyReligionScience • No Comments yet • Permalink

Thank God!

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MSNBC reports that a judge in Atlanta, GA has ruled that a sticker placed on all textbooks in Cobb County stating that ‘Evolution is a theory, not a fact,’ is unconstitutional, and ordered that all stickers be removed.”

http://msnbc.msn.com/ID/6822028/

http://slashdot.org/articles/05/01/13/2357223.shtml?tid=146&tid=103&tid=1

From /. post:

Dear Creationists,

We’ll put these stickers on our science textbooks when you put “God’s existence is a theory, not a fact” on your bibles.

I also found this hilarious list of alternate stickers to place on books here:

http://www.swarthmore.edu/NatSci/cpurrin1/textbookdisclaimers/

Stories like this make me glad to have my ACLU membership up to date.

Posted by Jake Covert on 1/14/2005, the wee hours
ReligionScience • No Comments yet • Permalink

Hacking Your Way Off The Utility Grid

It is pretty obvious that sooner or later we need to do something about our petroleum addiction. Regardless of how you feel about climate change, saving cuddly animals, and such, the economics of the energy industry are pretty stark. There is a finite supply of fossil fuels. Demand for energy is increasing and will increase rapidly as developing countries modernize. We can ignore this, or we can do something about it. Fortunately, alternate energy sources are now a practical reality.

Link Here.

Posted by Jason on 12/5/2004, late afternoon
Science • No Comments yet • Permalink

Little Tikes RFID Kitchens

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Introduce your little ones to the building blocks of big brother paranoia:  Little Tikes has come out with a kitchen set where all of the plastic food items have RFID tags embedded within them.  As you pass them over the register, they get “scanned” and rung up.

Next they need a Little Tikes tinfoil hat kit and a Little Tikes $20 bill de-magnetizer!

Story is here.

Posted by Jake Covert on 11/29/2004, mid-afternoon
FamilyHumorScience • No Comments yet • Permalink